BUMPER STICKER BLUES

BEAUTY is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots... and I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice):
We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Hang up and drive.

God must love stupid people...He made SO many.

Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.

Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.

If you can read this I can hit my brakes and sue you

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them