ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I love cats ... they taste just like chicken
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public
schools
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Happiness is a belt-fed weapon
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... ... Not
screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car ...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tow-ers will be violated
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a >vegetarian.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like
the IRS.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Wink, I'll do the rest!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its
students!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
He/She who laughs last thinks slowest
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be
happy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
i souport publik edekasion
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can
find a rock.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic
particles.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
----------------------------------------------------------------------