BRIGHT COLORS

DISCOVERING THE WWW: STOP ONE

I've been really busy lately. So busy that I'm starting to break out -- a sure sign of work-related stress. But instead of attempting to touch your hearts with a tale about my long battle with acne, today, I have decided to redirect you to one of many on-line "pastures" I enjoy -- where the grass is greener, the writing touches or tickles, and zit puss is non-existent.

The first stop on this tour of the www is the home page of a guy from the land where unemployment is low, cigarette boxes have pictures of dead babies and chewing gum is frowned upon. Meet Batjay.

While I am faking my comfort with the English language (you could almost hear my faux American twang, can't you?), Batjay keeps it real. His Taglish blog reads like a conversation with that fun, shoot-from-the-hip neighbor who you were forbidden to play with as your mom was afraid you would have too much fun.

We have not met yet; but in my head (ergo, I am making this up), Batjay sounds like the kind of guy who starts a Saturday night with a quiet dinner and ends it by jumping off an illegal gambling barge in the middle of South China Sea after he accidentally set fire to it while running from the dealers he duped at the black jack table. Or at the very least, the kind of guy who would lug a huge Spiderman doll on his international business trips so he could photograph it (now that, I did not make up).

This ex-disk jockey, now a conference-speaker-slash-engineer can dish out a delicious bwakananginangyan and revel us with daily narratives about how something new or funny or silly or amazing has enriched his life. Believe me, there is a lot of wisdom in the stuff he thinks about while picking his nose on the train.

He is one of the nicest guys I have never met. If only he wasn't so in love with and married to the love of his life, Jet, I would definitely set him up with my sister.

Pinoy Blog: BatJay at Kwentong Tambay, 01/28/2004, Posted by Manuel Viloria @ Viloria.Com

Thanks to Mona and her entry about forgetfulness, I stumbled upon BatJay's Kwentong Tambay blog. It's such a Pinoy blog, what with the Taglish, the humor, and the expressions that make it seem he's right beside you. But I'm particularly drawn towards his January 15, 2004 post entitled: Happy Birthday MyLab (Happy Birthday, My Love).

It is a post of gratitude, nostalgia, hope, success, and that characteristic Pinoy humor that accompanies our usual crisis-filled lives.

Head on over, at magparamdam naman kayo. (Leave a comment at BatJay's spot on the web.)

Man beaten with remote control after watching England-France Match

"A Malaysian man who sneaked out of bed to watch England's Euro 2004 opener was assaulted by his wife who was armed with the TV remote control.

The man's wife also took the smart card from their pay television service to prevent him from watching future live soccer, says the Malaysian Star."

Yahoo! Search Results for bangungot ng bayan?

bangunot ng bayan! wahahahahahahaha... kawawa naman tayo! huwag iboto

burning grass,
summer days,
moon lit nights,
childhood games

daily walks,
playful dog,
early mornings,
before the dawn.

little lad, looking sad
little boy, full of joy

living together
for so long
life is fine
like good wine

the boss' wife
singing "love's glory"
no apologies
for my life story.

going away
life's a journey
one hello
i gotta go.

The Current Time in California. Kailangan ko ito sa trabaho and need to be reminded of this link. Heehee.

What $87 Billion Buys

This week is the week of the Singapore Food Expo 2003. malapit lang ang venue nito sa office namin. kung kaya, kaninang lunch doon kami kumain... ang galing. sa taste test pa lang mabubusog ka na!

kung taga singapore ka. try to visit the food expo. maraming mga sale na items at mas maraming nga pagkain na binibenta.

Subject: Qantas-Pilot & Engineer Dialogue

Original internal Qantas email

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.


(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
( S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)



P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.


P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.


P : Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.


P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

ang bago naming laruan ni batjet! sana naman dahil dito, ganahan na akong mag jogging.

A.N.S.W.E.R. COALITION RESPONDS TO PRESIDENT BUSH'S NATIONAL TELEVISION ADDRESS OF SEPTEMBER 7, 2003

INTERESTING SEARCH WORDS USED TO GET TO MY SITE:

ang bading, ping lacson
bakit ang unggoy mahilig sa saging?
lumpia
sabong!
kwentong aray
tuli na pilipino
pano mo malalaman pag may gusto ko sa isang guy??
george estregan
scientific names of dylan baka
mga GRO ng pasay
libog ng pinay
sec bomb girls spaghetti song
gamot sa libog
kwentong pek-pek
cubicle farts covering
jakol
ekis pics
ang paboritong kwento ni hudas

Go east of your dream and farm.
Let peace and silence spin your yarn.
What harm can befall thee
in yon wilderness of clove?

Go on east of ginger trees.
Go soft and silent like the breeze.
With ease be off and wander
in yon wilderness of clove.

Go on past the goldenrods,
where fools and angels lose their odds.
And gods of our ancestors
did immerse themselves in clove.
Go on toward the crimson shore,
beyond this life of metaphors.
Where doors of understanding's house
decorates he them with clove.

"East of Ginger Trees", Seals & Crofts

Here's some nakakatawang sagot ng mga kontestant sa Philippine version ng
Weakest Link hosted by Edu Manzano:

EDU: Anong uring hayop ang lion?
CONTESTANT: (syempre, nag-isip pa) Ah, reptile!

EDU: ano sa Spanish ang hello?
CONTESTANT: uhhh...... ADIOS!!!

EDU: anong tawag sa manok na nangingitlog?
CONTESTANT: HIN!
EDU: correct!

EDU: Sino ang american president na nagkapolyo noong 1920's?
Encoder: Apolinario Mabini

Q: Anong uri ng hayop si King Kong?
A: Pagong!
Q: Sa'n mo nakuha yan?
A: Sa Batibot po... si King Kong Pagong?!!

EDU: Yes or no -- ang salad dressing ba ay damit?
CONTESTANT: (slight pause) YES!

EDU: Sino ang unang Pilipinong namatay sa lethal injection?
CONTESTANT: (after a millisecond) si Echee-vehry!
Parang pinatay nya ulit si Echegaray.

EDU: ilan ang f sa phosphorus???
CONTESTANT: uhm. . . 3!!!

EDU: ilang araw ang misa de gallo?
CONTESTANT: 16!

EDU: ano ang mas malaki? itlog ng pugo o sanggol ng tao?
CONTESTANT: itlog ng pugo!
EDU: saan ba ang probinsya mo?
CONTESTANT: wala po..sa manila lang
EDU: san ka ba nakakita ng itlog ng pugo na mas malaki sa sanggol ng tao?
CONTESTANT: akala ko po kasi ser sabi nyo eh itlog ng tao!
(and this guy actually won!)
Sagot pa ni Edoods: Ang laki naman atang itlog ng pugo yon!

EDU: Ilang unggoy meron sa grupong "The Monkees"
CONTESTANT: Lima!
EDU: Wala!

EDU: Ilan ang legs ng cartoon character na si Spiderman?
DENNIS: Eight!

Sa pelikulang Johnny Mnemonic, anong titik nag uumpisa ang Mnemonic?
Answer: P

EDU: Anong uri ng halaman ang tumitiklop kapag ito'y
nahawakan?
CONTESTANT: Hiya-hiya!

EDU: ano ang ginagamit ng mga swimmers para bumilis ang kanilang paglangoy?
CONTESTANT: fast shoes

EDU: saan nilalagay ang pacemaker?
CONTESTANT: sa face?!

EDU: Kung si superman ay may Lois Lane, ano naman ang kay Robinhood?
CONTESTANT: Pana!!

EDU: Sino ang vocalist ng Side A?
CONTESTANT: (nasa dulo na ng dila ko eh) Jo..Jograd!
bwahahahaha

anong S ang inuupuan pag naka-sakay sa kabayo???
answer: SILYA!!! hehe!

EDU: Ano ang karaniwang hugis ng manibela?
CONTESTANT: Triangular?

EDU: saang continent matatagpuan ang Indonesia?
CONTESTANT: ahh... JAVA!!!

EDU: sa PC o sa paglalaro ano ang tawag kapag ikaw ay natalo o tapos na ang
laro?
CONTESTANT: Finished?
EDU: Ikaw ba ay naglalaro ng games?
CONTESTANT: Hindi..
EDU: Ingat ka lng at baka sa dulo ikaw ang ma- GAME OVER

EDU: kelan ang pasko sa DAVAO?
CONTESTANT: PASS!!!!
EDU: kung si tweety ay ibon, anong hayop si TAZ?
CONTESTANT: UNGGOY!!!!
EDU: ano ang mas nauna sumikat, celfone o pager?
CONTESTANT: RADIO!!!!

EDU: Ang Void ba ay Invalid o Valid
GOGO: Valid

November 12 edition of The Weakest Link
EDU: Ilan ang letrang A sa salitang Philippines?
CONTESTANT: Um, um...isa!

EDU: Ang ibig sabihin ba ng LSD ay Lason Sa Daga?
Allen: Um...oo!
EDU: Ah, so kaya pala nalulong sina Jimi Hendrix noong araw ay dahil sa
lason sa daga?

EDU:Ang iyong tv radio at computer ba ay may thermostat?
CONTESTANT:isip....meron...
comment ni EDU: So pag nagooverheat ang tv mo bigla na lang nagshuhutdown?
CONTESTANT: akala ko nasama mo yung aircon...
EDU: so kasalanan ko pa ngayon?!

EDU: what is the capital of Romania ?
CONTESTANT: (nagisip) Romania City

EDU : ano ang tawag sa mga needle-like projections na nakasabit sa roof ng
mga caves?
CONTESTANT : (nagmamadali pa) uh, ice pick ?

EDU: Nano, fill in the blank: Bayan kong Pilipinas, lupain ng ginto't
____________
Nano: SILANGAN! (sabay tingin sa camera with this very funny face)

EDU: Ano sa tagalog ang "No Loitering?"
CONTESTANT: Bawal Magkalat!

EDU: Sino and tauhan sa barko na tinatawag na skipper?
CONTESTANT: POPEYE!

EDU: Paano i-describe ang mga ulo ni Yul Brynner at Telly Savalas?
CONTESTANT: .......................Patusok?

EDU: ano ang kulay ng orange juice kapag nilagay sa blue na baso?
CONTESTANT: ...violet

EDU: Saan natatatakot ang taong may PHOTOPHOBIA?
CONTESTANT: sa mga LITRATO

EDU: Ano ang tawag sa plastik na lalagyan ng basura?
CONTESTANT: Plastik Bag na nilalagyan ng basura?

EDU: anong nilalagay sa pinto kapartner ng susi?
CONTESTANT: doorknob!

EDU: Ilang parte meron ang three-fold?
Caloy: *isip pa ng matagal* uhm.. FOUR!

EDU: Ilang roses ang binibigay sa isang debutant?
Caloy pa rin: Tatlo! (ano yon I love you?!?)

EDU: Sino nagsulat ng Bridges of Madison County?
CONTESTANT: uh.. Clint Eastwood...

EDU: Anong hayop ang di nakakakita sa araw ngunit nakakakita sa dilim?
Ans: (isip konti) then answered... FLASHLIGHT!

EDU: ano ang tawag sa laro kung saan ang 2 teams ay naghihilahan sa isang
lubid?
CONTESTANT (listening attentively, ang walang aling na sagot ay...):
tumbang-preso

EDU: ang urine ay liquid. true or false?
KIKO: false
EDU: anong "c" ang paboritong kainin ng mga rabbit?
KIKO: sea ("c") cacamber

EDU: ano ang system of math na gumagamit ng symbols instead of numbers?
CONTESTANT: umm...China?

EDU: Ano yung maliliit na butil na niluluto sa sinaing
TZARI: Salt/Asin

EDU: Anong tawag sa taong walang suot sa paa?
CONTESTANT: SLIPPERLESS!

EDU: Ano ang tawag sa pag-aaral ng mga 'poisonous substances'?
CONTESTANT: Uh...poisonology?

EDU: ang rooster ba mangingitlog, TRUE OR FALSE
CONTESTANT: TRUE

EDU: ano ang shape ng bola ng basketball?
CONTESTANT: OBLONG????

EDU:anong ginawa ni moses sa red sea?
CONTESTANT: Stop!

EDU: kung ang bulag ay blind , ano naman ang english ng pipi?
CONTESTANT: walang salita!

EDU: anong sea creature and kalahating kabayo at kalahating isda?
CONTESTANT: syokoy!!!!

EDU: Ano ang tawag sa kaisa-isang babaeng miyembro ng "The Smurfs"
CONTESTANT: Gumby!

EDU: anong klaseng sasakyan ang inaayos sa hangar?
fat guy who's into advertising but took up veterinary: uhmm. . . sirang
sasakyan????
EDU: ano ang trabaho ni Jim carrey sa Ace Ventura?
fat guy ulet (with great conviction): VETERINARIAN!!!!

EDU: Ano ang tawag sa isang lugar sa disyerto na may mga halaman at lilim
(or something like that)?
Rico: Blessed place?
EDU: Kung ang shipboat ay isang boat, ano ang u-boat?
Rico: boat!

EDU: anong nilalagay sa inflatable tire?
CONTESTANT: (thinks for a while) pera!

EDU: Ano ang nilalagay sa sewing machine?
CONTESTANT: Lagari? (Akala yata nito may sawing machine eh)

EDU: Ano ang nationality ni Sigmund Freud? Austrian o Danish?
Mil: U.S.?
EDU: Saang state matatagpuan ang Golden Gate Bridge sa San Francisco?
Allan: U.S.?

EDU: Ano ang tawag sa laman sa loob ng buto, marrow o muscle?
CONTESTANT: KARNE!!!
EDU: Saan matatagpuan ang Quebec?
CONTESTANT: Afghanistan! (nasobrahan ata ito sa kakapanood ng CNN)
EDU: Ilang taon meron sa isang leap year?
CONTESTANT: 365! (ang dami naman!)
EDU: Anong sinusuot ng mga boksingero sa ulo nila para sa proteksyon?
CONTESTANT: Sumbrero
EDU: Sa lithography, ano ang sinusulat mo?
CONTESTANT: Literature?

EDU: kung ang isang piraso ng chico ay 5 pesos , magkano ito lahat kung 25
pcs.?
CONTESTANT: 250 pesos

EDU: ilan ang sides ng octagon?
CONTESTANT: seven!

EDU: Ano ang Kulay ni Incredible Hulk?
CONTESTANT: BLACK!
TAONG GRASA BA SI INCREDIBLE HULK!..

EDU: ilang metro mayroon sa 300 meters
ruth: 3000?
anakanangtetorts..

EDU: ang B.O.I. ay parte ng Department of Trade and Industry. Ano ang ibig
sabihin nito?
DODONG: Department of Tourism and Industry

EDU: anong "Q" ang dating kapital ng Pilipinas?
CONTESTANT: Manila!
sinabi nang "Q" eh!!!

EDU: Saang story ung "Mirror mirror in the wall" ?
CONTESTANT (Abdul) : Uhmmm....... Cinderella.

EDU: Anong laro ang may freethrow?
CONTESTANT (Jessa): Volleyball

Si Albert
EDU: anong sasakyan ang gamit sa "tour de France?"
albert: (ang sagot na naman nya eh) kalesa
EDU: anong klaseng animal ang afghan hound?
albert: afghanistan
(joskopo!)
EDU: ano ang tawag sa mga animal na mga kumakain ng insects
albert: amphibian
Important note: kung meron sa inyong me kilala ke albert, LAYUAN NINYO
SIYAAA!!!

EDU: Ano ang primary ingredient sa paggawa ng cheese?
CONTESTANT: CHEESE!

EDU: Sino ang patriarch (or something to that effect) sa Addams Family?
CONTESTANT: um... si Adam?

Q: Sinong "B.S." ang isa sa sumulat ng kantang "Evergreen"?
A: Bruce Springsteen!

EDU: Tinuturo ang G-clef sa anong "M" na subject?
CONTESTANT: Mathematics!!!
EDU (and the rest of us): Akala ko ba magaling ka sa music?!...
CONTESTANT: (Tagalog ang tanong, English ang sagot niya) I don't know, it
was the first thing that came out of my mouth, that's why I spoke it out
immediately!

EDU: Ano sa English ang maliit na baka?
CONTESTANT: COWLET!
Albert din yata yung name niya eh...

EDU: Ano ang communication device sa loob ng telephone booth?
Edgar: Microphone
EDU: Ano ang itlog na ayon sa iba, nakakapatigas ng tuhod?
Edgar: Tama!
He gave out both these answers in the same round and at the end of the
round, guess who was the weakest link?

SI DAVID?
DOODS: Ano ang karaniwang ginagamit na pagkain na kasabay ng Kare-kare?
DAVID: dried fish
DOODS: 8 times 9?
DAVID: 71 (accountant yan!!)
DOODS: David, ano ang tawag sa device na pinangsisipsip mo ng tubig?
DAVID: (thinks long and hard) aahhh... HOSE?
DOODS:ano ang pangalan ni Padre Zamora, na kabilang sa mga paring GOMBURZA?
DAVID: (thinks hard)....GOMA!
DOODS: Saang lenguahe nagmula ang salitang 'faux pas"?
DAVID: Chinese!

EDU: san matatagpuan ang glorietta?
CONTESTANT: mandaluyong! (mukhang kakalabas lang niya...yehey!!!)

EDU: Anong zip ang ginagamit sa pagbukas ng pantalon?
CONTESTANT: pagbukas ng bag

Q: Sa anong letter nagtatapos ang salitang "naive"?
A: H?

EDU : Anong D ang first word sa first stanza ng Jingle Bells
(answer should be Dashing)
CONTESTANT : Dyingel?

EDU: Kung ang tagalog ng Who ay "sino", ano naman ang tagalog ng Why?
CONTESTANT: Uhm....Electricity? (ang labo!!!)

EDU: Ano ang ibig sabihin ng...ERSTWHILE?
CONTESTANT: (with confidence and agitation)... NASA EARTH!!!

q: anong H ang tawag sa taong nag-iisa....
a: HOME ALONE....

EDU: sinong lalaking artista ang bida sa A Walk in the Clouds
CONTESTANT: niño muhlach

EDU: Ano ang tawag sa bala ng gluegun?
CONTESTANT: (confident na confident) BULLET!

Sa Head to Head
EDU: Anong kanta ni Christopher Cross ang nanalo as Best Song of the Year
noong 1972 (? not so sure that this was how the question was phrased)
Chris: Uh... Sailboat?

EDU: Complete the phrase: Share a seat, win a blank (medyo nabingi yung
CONTESTANT so she asked EDU to repeat the question ..) After EDU repeated
the question, di pa din niya ma-gets. Finally, she answered ...... OLD
LADY!!!

EDU: ano kulay ng strawberry?
johnny: ube!

Q: anong klase ng damo ang ginagamit sa pantuhog ng lechon baboy?
A: APPLE!!!

MGA HIRIT-EDU
Kaninong telepono ang cannot b reached? kaninong pre-paid card ang paubos
na?"
Kaninong magulang ang gusto ng patayin ang TV? Kaninong mga kapatid ang
gusto ng mag iba ng apelyido? kaninong aso ang gusto ng maglayas?"
Sino sa inyo ang gagapang sa lusak?
Sino sa inyo ang pasan ang buong daigdig?
Sino sa inyo ang hindi sisikat at mananatili na lang "dakilang ekstra"?
Sino si Tonto ng the Lone Ranger?
Sino ang tinimbang ngunit kulang?
Sino ang madalas sa principal's office?
Kanino sa inyo hindi common ang common sense?
Sino ang pupulutin sa kangkungan pagkatapos ng show?
Sinong pumunta sa parlor para magpagupit pero kinulot?"
Sino ang umorder ng cheeseburger na walang cheese?"
Sino dito...ang dapat ipatuklaw...sa mga ahas ni zuma?
Sino dito... dapat ipa-piga...kay captain barbel...
Sino sa inyo...ang dapat lunurin...ni DYESEBEL...
Sino dito ang bumili ng sardinas.. pero ang lata, sarsa lang ang laman,
walang sardinas?
Sino ang may sandwich na ang palaman ay tinapay?
Sino sa inyo ang may bowling ball na dadalawa lang ang butas?
Sino ang upod na lapis sa inyo na dapat nang daanan ng eraser
Sino dito ang me queso de bola na cuadrado?
Sinong naubusan ng balat ng lechon nung christmas party?
Hindi ko man alam ang ibig sabihin, pero CHUVA CHUVA CHUK CHAK CHIENES ANG
GRUPONG 'TO!
BAHKEEEET?!?! Malaki ba ang mga problema niyo...o talagang insecure kayo sa
tisoy na
gameshow host?!?!?!
Sino sa inyo ang naglasing sa Mompo?

All time favorite:
Kaninong turon ang walang saging?

YABA Yet Another Bloody Acronym

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

$0.02 Throwing in your two cents' worth
1FTR One for the road
24/7 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

A
A/S Age/Sex?
A/S/L Age/Sex/Location (or Language)?
AA Alcoholics Anonymous
AAA Travel club
AAAAA Travel club for alcoholics
American Association Against Acronym Abuse
AAMOF As A Matter Of Fact
ACRONYM Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding Meaning
ADN Any Day Now
AFAIAA As Far As I Am Aware
AFAIC As Far As I'm Concerned
AFAICS As Far As I Can See
AFAIK As Far As I Know
AFAIR As Far As I Remember; As Far As I Recall
AFAIUI As Far As I Understand It
AFK Away From Keyboard
AIR As I Remember; As I Recall
AISB As I Said Before
AISI As I See It
AIW As It Were/Was
AKA Also Known As
AMAP As Much/Many As Possible
AMF Adios Mother F---er; Adios My Friend
ANFAWFOS And Now For A Word From Our Sponsor
APAC All Praise And Credit
APYR As Per Your Request
ASAFP As Soon As F---ing Possible
ASAP As Soon As Possible
ASCII American Standard Code of Information Interchange
ATB All The Best
ATEOTLYWBAT At The End Of This Lesson You Will Be Able To
ATLA Another Three Letter Acronym
ATM At The Moment / Automatic Teller Machine
ATTN Attention
ATTYOB Anything That Turns You On Baby
AWCIGO And Where Can I Get One
AWGTHTGTATA Are We Going To Have To Go Through ALL This Again?
AWGTHTGTTA Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again?
AWHFY Are We Having Fun Yet?
AYT Are You There?

B
B/C BeCause (frequently just "b/c")
B3 Blah, Blah, Blah
B4 Before
B4N Bye for Now
BAC By Any Chance
BAD Broken As Designed
BAMF Bad Assed Mother F---er
BANANA Built Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anybody
BB Be Back
BBFN Bye Bye For Now
BBIAB Be Back In A Bit
BBL Be Back Later
BBR Burnt Beyond Repair
BBS Bulletin Board System; Be Back Soon
BBW Big Beautiful Women
BC Basket Case
BCC Blind Carbon Copy
BCNU Be seein' you! (saying goodbye)
BEG Big Evil Grin
BF Boyfriend
BFD Big F---ing Deal
BFG Big Friendly Giant; Big F---ing Gun; Big F---ing Grin
BFH Big F---ing Hammer
BFI Brute Force and Ignorance; Bunch of F---ing Idiots
BFM Big F---ing Magic
BFMI Brute Force and Massive Ignorance
BFN Bye For Now
BFOG Blouse Full Of Goodies
BG Big Grin (as in )
BIC Best In Class
BICBW But I Could Be Wrong
BIL Brother In Law
BION Believe It Or Not
BIOYIOP Blow It Out Your I/O Port
BITD Beaten It To Death
BK Because
BKA Better Known As
BKAM Between Keyboard And Monitor (i.e., problem is with the user)
BMF Bad Mother F---er
BMOC Big Man On Campus
BMTIPG Brilliant Minds Think In Parallel Gutters
BNF Big Name Fan
BOC But Of Course
BOF Birds Of a Feather
BOFH Bastard [system] Operator From Hell
BOHICA Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!
BOL Best Of Luck
BOS Big Orange Switch
BOT Back On Topic
BOTE Back Of The Envelope
BOTEC Back Of The Envelope Calculation
BRB Be Right Back
BRS Big Red Switch
BS Bull S---
BSEG Big S--- Eating Grin
BSG Broad Sweeping Generalization; Big Smiling Grin
BSOD Blue Screen Of Death
BTA But Then Again (in response to IOW)
BTAICBW But Then Again I could Be Wrong
BTAIM Be That As It May
BTDT Been There, Done That
BTDTGTTS Been There, Done That, Got The T-Shirt
BTLSOM Beats The Living S--- Out of Me
BTOBD Be There Or Be Dead
BTSOOM Beats The S--- Out Of Me
BTW By The Way
BUAF Butt Ugly ASCII Font
BUAG Butt Ugly ASCII Graphic
BWQ Buzz Word Quotient
BY BusY
BYKT But You Knew That
BYKTA But You Knew That Already
BYOB Bring Your Own Booze/Bottle

C
C/O in Care Of (for sending mail)
C/P/S City or Country / Profession / Status (married/single)
CADET Can't Add, Doesn't Even Try
CB Call Back
CC Carbon Copy; Courtesy Copy
CE Creative Editing
CF Charlie Foxtrot; Cluster F--- (meaning similar to SNAFU)
CFD Call For Discussion
CHOWUR see (C) HOW yoU aRe
CHUR see (C) How yoU aRe
CI$ Compu$erve Information Service (tm)
CIC Christ, I'm Confused
CIS Compuserve Information System (tm)
CIAO as in goodbye (said 'Chow')
CIO Cut It Out
CLAB Crying Like A Baby
CLOAKA Canonical List Of All Known Acronyms
CMIIW Correct Me If I'm Wrong
CO COnference
COB Close Of Business
COD Cash On Delivery (when receiving mail)
COTFLGOHAHA Crawling On The Floor Laughing Guts Out And Having A
Heart Attack
CPF Can Pigs Fly?
CRAFT Can't Remember A F---ing Thing
CRPG Character (or computer) Role Playing Game
CRS Can't Remember S---
CS Cop Shop (police station)
CTTD Cute Things They Do
CTTS Cute Things They Say
CU see (C) yoU
CUL see (C) yoU LateR
CUL8R see (C) yoU LateR (L8R)
CUL8TR see (C) yoU LaTeR (L8TR)
CWYL Chat With You Later
CYA Cover Your Ass; see (C) YA
CYL see (C) You Later

D
D&C "Duck and Cover" - a popular 1950's song in dedication
to the atomic bomb (and its' possible attack)
D/L Download, transmit to you
DAP Parents Against Dyslexia
DBA Doing Business As
DBN Doing Business, NOT
DD Darling Daughter
DEU Dumb End User
DFU Don't Forget Units
DH Dear Hubby; Dumb Hubby; Deaf Hubby; DickHead
DIIK Damned If I Know
DIIN Damned If I kNow
DIL Daughter In Law
DILLIGAF Does It Look Like I Give A F---?
DILLIGAFF Do I Look Like I Give a Flying F---?
DINK Double Income, No Kids
DITUIHIBMSL? Did I tell you I hate IBMs lately?
DITUILIBMSL? Did I tell you I love IBMs lately?
DK Don't Know
DKU Drop Kick Ugly
DL Download, transmit to you
DLG Devilish Little Grin
DNA Did Not Answer
DNPM Darn Near P---ed Myself
DOA Dead On Arrival
DOB Date/Day Of Birth
DOM Dirty Old Man
DRA Don't Recognize Acronyms
DS Darling Son
DTA Don't Trust Anybody
DTD Document Type Definition
DTOKAB Drop To One Knee And Blow
DTP DeskTop Publishing
DTRT Do The Right Thing
DUCWIC Do You see (C) What I see (C)
DUK Dead Upon Keyboard
DWIM Do What I Mean
DWIMC Do What I Mean, Correctly
DWIMNWIS Do What I Mean, Not What I Say
DWKOTA Deep Wet Kiss On The Ass
DWKOTL Deep Wet Kiss On The Lips
DYE Damn Your Eyes!
DYHWIH Do You Hear What I Hear
DYSWIS Do You See What I See

E
E2EG Ear to Ear Grin
ED Emotionally Disturbed
EDP Emotionally Disturbed Person
EG Evil Grin; (for example, usually e.g.)
EGC Extrememly Gruntled Customer
EIF Exercise In Futility
EMS E-Mail Shorthand
EOB End Of Business
EOD End Of Discussion
EOF End Of File
EOL End Of Lecture
EOT End Of Thread (i.e., don't reply to this message)
ES&D Eat S--- & Die
ES<HI Eat Shit & Live To Hate It
ESAD Eat S--- And Die
ESAL Eat S--- And Live
ESBAM Eat S---, Bark At Moon
ESP ESPecially (frequently just "esp.")
ESOSL Endless Snorts of Stupid Laughter
ETA Estimated Time of Arrival
ETD Estimated Time of Departure
ETE Estimated Time En route
ETLA Extended Three Letter Acronym

F
F2F Face To Face
FA F--- All (nothing)
FAQ Frequently Asked Question
FCFS First Come, First Served
FCOL For Crying Out Loud
FDROTFL Falling Down Rolling On The Floor Laughing
FFRD Flying F--- in a Rolling Donut (I don't give a....)
FFS For F---s Sake
FHFHFH F--- Him, Feed Him FishHeads
FICCL Frankly, I Couldn't Care Less
FIGJAM F--- I'm Good, Just Ask Me
FIGMO F--- It, Got My Orders
FIIK F---ed If I Know!
FIIN F---ed If I kNow!
FIL Father In Law
FIOFYF Figure It Out For Yourself, F---er
FISH First In, Still Here
FISHDO F--- It, S--- Happens, Drive On
FITB Fill In The Blank
FKMFATIFKYB French Kiss My Furry Ass 'Til It French Kisses You Back!
FLK Funny Looking Kid
FMH F--- Me Harder (usually an exclamation of disgust)
FMTEYEWTK Far More Than Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know
FNI F---ing Not Involved
FotR Fellowship of the Rings (a Tolkien work)
FOAD F--- Off And Die
FOAF Friend Of A Friend
FOAFOAG Father Of A Friend Of A Girlfriend
FOAG Father Of A Girlfriend
FOCLMAO Fell Off Chair Laughin My Ass Off
FOD Finger Of Death
FOOBAR Variant of FUBAR
FOR For Obvious Reasons
FOS Freedom Of Speech; Full Of S---
FOT Full Of Tripe
FOTCL Falling Off The Chair Laughing
FRE Frequently Requested Enhancement
FRED F---ing Ridiculous Electronic Device
FRZ Fruitin' Religious Zealot
FTASB Faster Than A Speeding Bullet
FTDS F--- The Dumb S---
FTF Face To Face
FTL Faster Than Light
FTP File Transfer Protocol
FTS Fixin' To Start
FUBAB F---ed Up Beyond All Belief
FUBAR F---ed Up Beyond All Repair/Recognition
FUD Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt
FUMTU F---ed Up More Than Usual
FURTB Full Up Ready To Burst (about hard disk drives!)
FWIW For What It's Worth
FWMAYOR F--- With Me At Your Own Risk
FY&TSYRIO F--- You & The Sysop You Rode In On
FYA For Your Amusement
FYDITM F--- You Directly In The Mouth
FYI For Your Information

G
G2G Got to Go
G Grin (as in )
GA Go Ahead
GAC Get A Clue
GAFIA Get Away From It All (as in drop out of ILink for a bit)
GAFM Get Away From Me
GAL Get A Life
GBH&K Great Big Hugs & Kisses
GBH&KB Greak Big Hugs & Kisses Back
GBTM Get Back To Me
GBY God Bless You
GC Garbage Collect (tidy up)
GD&H Grinning, Ducking & Hiding
GD&R Grinning, Ducking & Running
GD&RF Grinning, Ducking & Running Fast!
GD&RVVF Grinning, Ducking & Running Very Very Fast!
GD&W Grinning, Ducking & Weaving
GF Girlfriend
GFR Grim File Reaper (pervasive data destroyer)
GFU General F--- Up
GFY Go F--- Yourself
GGC Goo Goo Cluster (cause zits & intestinal blockage)
GGG GiGGle (as in )
GGN Gotta Go Now
GH Getting Hard (male)
GIGO Garbage In, Garbage Out; Garbage In, Gospel Out
(people accepting blindly what the computer says)
GIWIST Gee, I Wish I'd Said That
GKW God Knows What
GLG Goofy Little Grin
GLGH Good Luck and Good Hunting
GM Got Milk?
GMT Greenwich Mean Time
GMTA Great Minds Think Alike
GOK God Only Knows
GOOML Get Out Of My Life
GOTFIA Groaning On The Floor In Agony
GOWI Get On With It
GPF General Protection Fault; Go Puke, Fast!
GRUIT Get Real yoU Impudent Thing
GSHIWMP Giggling So Hard I Wet My Pants
GTABO Get That Ass Back On (in response to ROFLMAO)
GTBOS Glad To Be Of Service
GTFOOMF Get The F--- Out Of My Face
GTG Got To Go
GTP Gone To Pee
GW Getting Wet (female)
GWATCDR God Willing And The Creek Don't Rise

H
H2 How To
HAND Have A Nice Day
HAK Hugs And Kisses
HCB Holy Cow, Batman!
HHGTTG HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy
HHO 1/2 K Ha Ha Only Half Kidding
HHOJ Ha Ha Only Joking
HHOK Ha Ha Only Kidding
HHOS Ha Ha Only Serious
HIB_ Have I Been ______?
HIRTA HereInafter Referred To As
HLV Hasta La Vista
HLVB Hasta La Vista, Baby
HMFIC Head Mother F---er In Charge
HMFWRIC Head Mother F---er What aRe In Charge
HOMPR Hang On, Mobile Phones' Ringing
HP Home Page
HSIK How Should I Know
HSP Highly Sensitive Person
HTB Heavens To Betsy
HTFSIK How The F--- Should I Know
HTH Hope This Helps!
HTML Hyper Text Markup Language
HUA Head Up Ass
HUF Horny Unattached Female
HUM Horny Unattached Male
HW HardWare
HWUA Head Way Up Ass
HWS(PEST) Husband Wants Sex (Please Excuse Slow Typing)

I
IAAA I Am An Accountant
IAAL I Am A Lawyer
IAC In Any Case
IAE In Any Event
IANAA I Am Not An Accountant
IANAC I Am Not A Crook
IANAL I Am Not A Lawyer
IANALBIPOOTV I Am Not A Lawyer, But I Play One On TV
IANYM In A New York Minute
IARTPFWTSIOWIM I Am Repeating This Parrot-Fashion Without The
Slightest Idea Of What It Means.
IASH I Am So Horny
IAWTP I Agree With This Post
IBB I'll Be Back
IBC Inadequate, But Cute
IBM Inadequate, but Marketable
IC I see (C)
ICB I Care Because?
ICBM InterContinental Ballistic Missile
ICIHICPCL I Can't Imagine How I Could Possibly Care Less
ICTYBTIHTKY I Could Tell You But Then I'd Have To Kill You
ICUR I see (C) You Are
IDD InDeeD
IDGAD I Don't Give A Damn
IDGAS I Don't Give A S---
IDGI I Don't Get It
IDK I Don't Know
IDTS I Don't Think So
IDTT I'll Drink To That!
IE that is (normally i.e.)
IHATCFYB I Have A Terrible Craving For Your Body!
IHTBS It Has To Be Shown
IHTFP I Hate This F---ing Place; I Have Truly Found Paradise
IIABDFI If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It
IINM If I'm Not Mistaken
IIRC If I Recall/Remember Correctly
IITYWIMIWHTKY If I Tell You What It Means, I Will Have To Kill You
IITYWIMWYBMAD If I Tell You What It Means, Will You Buy Me A Drink?
IITYWTMWYKM If I Tell You What This Means Will You Kiss Me?
IITYWYBAD If I Tell You, Will You Buy Another Drink?
IITYWYBMAB If I Tell You, Will You Buy Me A Beer?
IJLS I Just Like Saying
IK I Know
ILI I Like Ike
ILICISCOMK I Laughed, I Cried, I Spat Coffee/Coke/Cadmium On My Keyboard
ILIWTPCT I Love It When The Plan Comes Together.
ILN It's Looking Nice / It Looks Nice
ILS Imaginary Lat Syndrome
ILSHIBAMF I Laughed So Hard I Broke All My Furniture!
ILU I Love yoU
ILY I Love You
IMAO In My Arrogant Opinion
IMBO In My Biased Opinion
IMCDO In My Conceited Dogmatic Opinion
IMCO In My Considered Opinion
IME In My Experience
IMHO In My Humble Opinion
IMMOR I Make My Own Rules
IMMSMC If My Memory Serves Me Correctly
IMNSHO In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMNSVHO In My Not So Very Humble Opinion
IMO In My Opinion
IMOBO In My Own Biased Opinion
IMPOV In My Point Of View
IMS I Must Say
IMU I Miss yoU
IMVHO In My Very Humble Opinion
INGSI I'm Not Gonna Say It
INPO In No Particular Order
INT I'll Never Tell
IOU I Owe yoU
IOW In Other Words
IRL In Real Life
IROOC I've Run Out Of Cigarettes
ISAGN I See A Great Need
ISO In Search Of; International Organization for Standardization;
Organisation Internationale de Normalisation
ISP Internet Service Provider
ISTM It Seems To Me
ISTR I Seem To Remember
ITAH Is There Anybody Here
ITFA In The Final Analysis
IUTHALORFH I Used To Have A Lot Of Respect For Him/Her
ITYM I Think You Mean
IUTKATS I Used To Know All That Stuff
IWBNI It Would Be Nice If
IWIK I Wish I Knew
IWSN I Want Sex Now
IYFEG Insert Your Favorite Ethnic Group
IYKWIM If You Know What I Mean
IYKWIMAITYD If You Know What I Mean And I Think You Do
IYSWIM If You See What I Mean
IYW If You Wish

J
J/K Just Kidding
JAFO Just Another F---ing Observer
JAFU Just Another F--- Up
JAM Just A Moment; Just A Minute
JANFU Joint Army-Navy F--- Up. (When American troops get
shelled by their own side, in this case involving
both the army and the navy.)
JAS Just A Second
JAWS Just Another Windows Shell
JFF Just For Fun
JFYI Just For Your Information
JIC Just In Case
JMOOC Just My Opinion Of Course
JMHFOOC Just My Humble F---ing Opinion Of Course
JPW Just Plain Weird
JSNM Just Stark Naked Magic
JTYWTK Just Thought You Wanted To Know

K
K oKay
KCBIWIYWI Keep Coming Back, It Works If You Work It
KDW Keep Digging, Watson (reply to NSS)
KEAH Kill Everyone After Hours
KIBO Knowledge In, Bulls--- Out
KISS Keep It Simple Stupid
KITA Kick In The Ass (type of therapy)
KMA Kiss My Ass
KMYF Kiss Me You Fool
KOTC Kiss On The Cheek
KOTL Kiss On The Lips
KTCOOTN Keep This Crap Out Of This Newsgroup
KUTGW Keep Up The Good Work
KWIM Know What I Mean?
KYHOOYA Keep Your Head Out Of Your Ass

L
L8R Later
LAB&TYD Life's A Bitch & Then You Die
LAGNAF Let's All Get Naked And F---
LART Luser Attitude Re-adjustment Tool [Clue by four]
LIFER Lazy Incompetent F---er Evading Responsibility
LJBF Let's Just Be Friends
LLTA Lots and Lots of Thunderous/Thundering Applause
LMA Leave Me Alone
LMAO Laughing My Ass Off
LMAOROTF Laughing My Ass Off Rolling On The Floor
LMC Lost My Connection
LMCOA Lost My Connection Once Again
LMFAO Laughing My F---ing Ass Off
LMK Let Me Know
LMTFA Leave Me The F--- Alone
LMWIS Lick Me Where I Sweat
LotR Lord of the Rings (a Tolkien work)
LOA List Of Acronyms/Abbreviations
LOHICA Look Out, Here It Comes Again (military term)
LOI Lack Of Interest
LOL Laughing Out Loud; Little Old Lady
LOLAROTG Laughing Out Loud And Rolling On The Ground
LOMBARD Lots Of Money But A Real Dickhead
LSFIAB Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel
LSHIPMP Laughing So Hard I Peed My Pants
LSP Less Sensitive Person
LTBF Learn To Be Funny
LTIP Laughing Til I Puke
LTMSH Laughing 'Til My sides Hurt
LTNS Long Time, No See
LTUAE Life, The Universe, And Everything (3rd part of THHGTTG)
LULU Locally Unwanted Land Use
LUSER Loser USER
LZ Loser!

M
M$ Micro$oft
MARINE My Ass Riding In Navy Equipment
MAY Mad About You
MAYB Mad About You, Baby
MBUC Mind Bogglingly Unlikely Coincidence
MCIBTY(SN) My Computer Is Better Than Yours (So Nyerrr)
MD More Dirt (Physician)
MEGO My Eyes Glaze Over
MFG More Friendly Garbage!
MFIC Mother F---er In Charge
MFWIC Mother F---er What's In Charge
MGD My Gameboy Died
MH Mostly Harmless (5th part of THHGTTG)
MHDC(A) My Hard Drive crashed (again)
MIL Mother In Law
MILG Make It Look Good
MIPS Meaningless Information Per Second
ML More Later
MLA Multiple Letter Acronym
MMIF My Mouth Is Full
MOF Matter Of Fact
MOR Middle Of the Road
MORF Male Or Female
MOS Member of the Opposite Sex
MOTAS Member Of The Appropriate Sex
MOTD Message Of The Day
MOTH Humorous Collectibles Forum variation on Member of the Month
MOTM Member Of The Month
MOTOS Member Of The Opposite Sex
MOTSS Member Of The Same Sex
MS More S---; More of the Same; (Masters Degree)
MSCEA My Southern Comforts' Empty Again
MSS Member of the Same Sex
MTFBWY May The Force Be With You
MUD Multi User Domain (or Dungeon)
MUF Material Unaccounted For
MUNG Mash/Mung Until No Good
MYOB Mind Your Own Business

N
NAGI Not A Good Idea
NAHM Not A Happy Man
NAHW Not A Happy Woman
NAVY Never Again Volunteer Yourself
NB Nota Bene (note well)
NBD No Big Deal
NBL Not Bloody Likely
NBTD Nothing Better To Do
NERD National Establishment for Real Dorks
NFG No F---ing Good
NFI No F---ing Idea
NFIAA No F---ing Idea At All
NFW No F---ing Way
NFY No F--- You
NG News Group
NHOH Never Heard Of Him/Her
NIAA No Idea At All
NICBDAT Nothing Is Certain But Death And Taxes
NIDWTC No I Don't Want To Chat
NIH Not Invented Here
NIMBY Not In My Back Yard
NIMFYE Not In My Front Yard Either
NINO Nothing In, Nothing Out
NIMTO Not In My Term of Office
NIT Not In Therapy
NLI Not Logged In
NM NeverMind
NMI No Middle Initial
NN Night-Night
NOPE Not On Planet Earth
NORWICH kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home
NOYB None Of Your Business
NP No Problem
NPF No Problem Found
NPLU Not People Like Us
NQA No Questions Asked
NQOS Not Quite Our Sort
NRN No Reply Necessary
NSS No S---, Shylock/Sherlock
NTG Not Too Good
NTH No Therapy Helpful
NTIBOA Not That I'm Bitter Or Anything
NTIM Not That It Matters
NTIMM Not That It Matters Much
NTL NeverTheLess / NoneTheLess
NUI Network User Identification
NYM New York Minute
NYP Not Your Problem

O
O Over (to you)
OATUS On A Totally Unrelated Subject
OAUS On An Unrelated Subject
OB Obligatory (frequently Ob)
OBTW Oh, By the Way
OD OverDose; Oh Dear
OFO Out F---ing Off
OFS One Finger Salute
OIC Oh, I see (C)
OMFG Oh My F---ing God!
OMG Oh My God!
ONNA Oh No, Not Again
ONNTA Oh No, Not This Again
OO Over and Out
OOSOOM Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind
OOTB Out Of The Box
OOTC Obligatory On Topic Comment
OPL Obvious Panty Line
OPM Other People's Money
OPP Other People's Problems
OSIF Oh S---, I Forgot!
OSIM Oh Shoot It's Monday
OSU Officially Sanctioned User
OT Off Topic
OT1H On The One Hand
OTBE Over Taken By Events (orig. military)
OTC Over The Counter
OTD Out The Door
OTF On The Floor
OTK Over The Knee
OTL Out To Lunch
OTOH On The Other Hand; On The One Hand
OTOOH On The Other Other Hand
OTT Over The Top
OTTH On The Third Hand
OTTOMH Off The Top Of My Head
OTTOMHAROO Off the Top of My Head and Rolling Out of Bounds
OTW On The Whole
OW Oh Well
OWTTE Or Words To That Effect

P
PABG Pack A Big Gun
PBD Programmer Brain Damage
PBM Play By Mail (games)
PCB Please Call Back
PCMCIA People Can't Master/Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms;
Personal Computer Memory Card International Association
PCO Please Carry On
PCYLIHOONL Please Cross Your Legs, I Have Only One Nail Left
PD Public Domain
PDA Public Display of Affection
PDN Public Data Network
PDQ Pretty Damn Quick
PEBCAK Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard
PF&HOMW Printed, Framed & Hanging On My Wall
PFM Pure F---ing Magic
PGY Post Graduate Year (as in PGY-1, PGY-2 etc. used in PGY Med)
PHB Pointy Haired Boss (from Dilbert, i.e., doesn't have a clue)
PhD Piled Higher and Deeper.
PHD Push Here Dummy (type of automatic camera)
PIMP Pee In My Pants (often in combination)
PITA Pain In The Ass
PITBY Put It in Their Back Yard
PKB Pot, Kettle, Black!
PLBKAC Problem Lies Between Keyboard And Chair
PLMKO Please Let Me Know, Ok?
PLOKTA Press Lots Of Keys To Abort
PLONK Please Leave Our Newsgroup, Killfiled!
PMBI Pardon My Butting In
PMETC Pardon Me ETC.
PMFBI Pardon Me For Butting In
PMFJI Pardon Me For Jumping In
PMFJIH Pardon Me For Jumping In Here.
PMJI Pardon My Jumping In
PMYMHMMFSWGAD Pardon Me, You Must Have Mistaken Me For Someone
Who Gives A Damn
PMYMHMMFSWGAS Pardon Me, You Must Have Mistaken Me For Someone Who
Gives A S---.
POC Prisoner Of Chat; Peeping Other Chatters
POETS Piss On Everything, Tomorrow's Saturday; Piss Off Early,
Tomorrow's Saturday
POITS Piss On It Tomorrow's Saturday
POM Phase Of the Moon
POME Prisoner Of Mother England
POP Point Of Presence; Post Office Protocol
POS Piece Of S---; Person Over Shoulder
POSSLQ Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters
POQ Piss Off Quickly
POQADCB Piss Off Quickly and Don't Come Back!
POV Point Of View
PPL PeoPLe
PPN Programmer Project Number (currently known as UserID)
PPOSTFU Post Proof Or Shut The F--- Up
PPP Petty Pet Peeve; Point to Point Protocol
PPPP Previous Paragraph was Polemical Position
PS Post Scriptum; PostScript
PT Physical Training
PTB Powers That Be
PTM Please Tell Me
PTO Patent and Trademark Office (US Govt); Please Turn Over
PUNTS People of Utterly No Tactical Significance (military term)
PW Pathetic Wanker; PowWow
PYS Pack Your Stuff

Q
QED Quod Erat Demonstrandum; Quite Easily Done
QT QuieT (also q.t., Q&T, or as a phrase "on the q.t.")

R
RA Research Assistant; Resident Assistant
RAK Random Act of Kindness
RBS Really Big Screen
RE REgarding
REMF Rear Echelon Mother F---ers (eg, clueless micromanaging bosses)
RFC Request For Comments
RFD Request For Discussion
RFT Request For Thinking
RHIP Rank Has Its Privileges
RL Real Life
RLCO Real Life COnference
RNA Ring, No Answer
ROFFNAR Rolling On the Floor For No Apparent Reason
ROFL Rolling On the Floor Laughing
ROFLAHMSL Rolling On the Floor Laughing And Holding My Sides Laughing
ROFLASC Rolling On the Floor Laughing And Scaring the Cat
ROFLASTC Rolling On the Floor Laughing And Scaring The Cat
ROFLGO Rolling On Floor Laughing Guts Out!
ROFLMAO Rolling On the Floor Laughing My ASCII Off
ROFLMAOOL Rolling On the Floor Lauging My Ass Off Out Loud
ROFLOL Rolling On the Floor Laughing Out Loud
ROFLOLVH Rolling On the Floor Laughing Out Loud Very Hard
ROFLWMK Rolling On the Floor Laughing -- Wet My Knickers
ROFPML Roll On Floor Pissing Myself Laughing.
ROFTTPOF Rolling On the Floor Trying To Put Out Flames
RotK Return of the King (a Tolkien work)
ROTBA Reality On The Blink Again
ROTF Rolling On The Floor
ROTFL Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROTFLAHMS Rolling On The Floor Laughing And Holding My Side
ROTFLMAAOBPO Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass And Other Body Parts Off
ROTFLMAO Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off
ROTFSTCLMAAOBPO Rolling On The Floor Scaring The Cat Laughing My Ass
And Other Body Parts Off
ROTM Right On The Money
RPG Role Playing Games
RSN Real Soon Now
RSVP Repondez S'il Vous Plait (French, "please reply")
RT Real Time
RTFI Read The F---ing Instructions
RTFM Read The F---ing Manual
RTFQ Read The F---ing Question
RTFS Read The F---ing Source
RTFMS Read The F---ing Manual, Sir (from the military)
RTI Real Time Interruption
RTS Read The Screen
RUMF aRe yoU Male or Female?

S
S/O SomeOne (frequently just "s/o")
S/TH SomeTHing (frequently just "s/th")
S2BX Soon To Be eX
SAMF Sad Ass Mother F---er
SAMFU Self-Adjusting Military F--- Up
SAMFUTU Situation Abnormal, More F---ed Up Than Usual
SAPFU Surpassing All Previous F--- Ups
SAR Smart Ass Remark
SAYOR Speak At Your Own Risk
SBB Stupid Beyond Belief
SBCN Sitting Behind the Computer, Naked
SBD Silent But Deadly
SBID S---ty But It'll Do
SCNR Sorry, Could Not Resist
SDIHTT SomeDay I'll Have The Time
SEC SECond, eg. Wait a sec
SEG S--- Eating Grin
SEP Somebody Else's Problem
SFLA Stupid Four Letter Acronym
SFT Sorry For That
SGML Standardized General Markup Language
SH S--- Happens
SHLH Sitting Here Lauging Hysterically
SHTS Spit Hitting The Spam
SHTSI Somebody Had To Say It
SICS Sitting In Chair Snickering
SIG Special Interest Group
SIIN Stuffed If I Know!
SIL Son In Law; Sister In Law
SITD Still In The Dark
SLATFATF So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish (4th part of THHGTTG)
SLIP Single Line In Protocol; Serial Line Internet Protocol
SLJ S---ty Little Job
SLJO S---ty Little Job Officer
SMAR Suck My Ass Raw
SMMWO Shut My Mouth Wide Open
SMO Serious Mode On
SMOF Secret Master(s) Of Fandom
SMOP Small Matter Of Programming
SMOFF Serious Mode OFF
SMTP Simple Mail Transfer Protocol
SNAC Sitting Naked At Computer
SNAFU Situation Normal: All F---ed Up
SNAG Sensitive New Age Guy
SNERT Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager
SNFIAA Still No F---ing Idea At All
SNR Signal to Noise Ratio
SO Significant Other
SOI Stink On Ice
SOL S--- Out of Luck
SOP Standing Operational Procedures; Standard Operating Procedure
SOS Same Old S---
SOSO Same Old, Same-Old
SOVS SomeOne Very Special
SPAM SPiced hAM (Hormel's canned meat)
SSDD Same S---, Different Day
SSIA Subject Says It All
ST Star Trek; Such That (frequently just "s.t.")
ST-DS9 Star Trek, Deep Space 9
ST-TNG Star Trek, The Next Generation
ST-TOS Star Trek, The Original Series
ST-VOY Star Trek, Voyager
STBY Sucks To Be You
STFU Shut The F--- Up
STIFF "Stiff", said loudly.
STI / ST-TMP Star Trek, first movie / The Motion Picture
STII / ST-WOK Star Trek, second movie / 'Wrath Of Khan'
STIII / ST-SFS Star Trek, third movie / 'Search For Spock'
STIV / ST-TVH Star Trek, fourth movie / 'The Voyage Home'
STS So To Speak
STV / ST-TFF Star Trek, fifth movie / 'The Final Frontier'
STVI / ST-TUC Star Trek, sixth movie / 'The Undiscovered Country'
SUCDIC Situation Under Control, Dickheads In Charge
SUFID Screwing Up Face In Disgust
SUNOILTY Shut Up, No One Is Listening To You
SUSFU Situation Unchanged, Still F---ed Up
SUYP Shut Up You Pervert
SW SoftWare; So What?; Says Whom?; StarWars
SW-SE StarWars Special Edition
SWAG Simple Wild Ass Guess; Scientific Wild Ass Guess
SWAK Sealed With A Kiss
SWALK Sealed With A Loving Kiss
SWDYRTW Since When Do You Rule The Web?
SWMBO She Who Must Be Obeyed
SWYP So What's Your Problem?
SYSOP SYStem OPerator
SYT Sweet Young Thing

T
TA Teaching Assistant
TAF That's All, Folks!
TAFN That's All For Now
TANJ There Ain't No Justice
TANSTAAFL There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
TARFU Things Are Really F---ed Up
TBC To Be Continued
TBE To Be Expected
TBH To Be Honest
TBYB Try Before You Buy
TC Telephone Call; Take Care
TCB Taking Care of Business
TCBY Taking Care of Business, Ya'll
TCD The Cat's Dead
TDD The Dog's Dead
TDM Too Damn Many
TEOTWAWKI The End Of The World As We Know It
TFB Too F---ing Bad
TFE Too F---ing Easy
TFM The F---ing Manual
TFS Three Finger Salute (Ctrl-Alt-Del)
TFTT Thanks For The Thought
TGAL Think Globally, Act Locally
TGIF Thank God Its Friday
TGTF Thank God Tomorrow's Friday
THHGTTG The HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy
THO Titty Hard On
TIA Thanks In Advance
TIATLG Truly, I Am The Living God
TIC Tongue In Cheek
TIE Take It Easy
TIME Tears In My Eyes (often in combination)
TIMTOWTDI There Is More Than One Way To Do It
TINALO This Is Not A Legal Opinion
TINAR This Is Not A Recommendation
TINC There Is No Cabal
TINSTAAFL There Is No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
TINWIS That Is Not What I Said
TIWTGLGG This Is Where The Goofy Little Grin Goes
TIP To Insure Promptness
TJATAW Truth, Justice, And The American Way
TLA Three Letter Acronym
TLC Tender Loving Care
TLG The Living God
TM Thread Mangler
TMI Too Much Information
TMIKTLIU The More I Know, The Less I Understand
TMTC Too Many To Count
TN TelNet
TNOTVS There's Nothing On Television, So ...
TNSO Temptingly Naked Significant Other
TNX Thanks (as in ThaNX)
TPAE The Possibilities Are Endless
TPS(S) This Program Sucks (Severely)
TPTB The Powers That Be
TQM Total Quality Management
TRATEOTU The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe (2nd part of THHGTTG)
TRDMC Tears Running Down My Cheeks
TS Tough S---
TSOHF Total Sense Of Humour Failure
TSJD Texas Size Jelly Donut - official food of Texas sysops
TSR Terminate and Stay Resident program; Totally Stupid Rules
TT Two Towers, The (a Tolkien work)
TTBE That's To Be Expected
TTBOMK To The Best Of My Knowledge
TTFN Ta-Ta For Now
TTL4N That's The Lot For Now
TTM To The Moderator
TTS Tiny Tit Syndrome
TTUL Talk (or Type) To you Later
TTYL Talk To You Later
TTYS Talk To You Soon
TTYRS Talk To You Real Soon?
TUFD The User File Died
TWAIN Technology Without An Interesting Name
TWIMC To Whom It May Concern
TWYAS That's What You All Say
TWYT That's What You Think
TYLE Took You Long Enough
TYVL, YWEL Thank You Very Little, You're Welcome Even Less
TYVM Thank You Very Much

U
U/L Upload, send to the BBS
UAE Unrecoverable Application Error (Bane of Windows' users!)
UBD User Brain Damage
UDS Ugly Domestic Scene
UL Upload, send to the BBS
UOK yoU OK?
UNA Use No Acronyms
UNCLE Unified Nuclear Coalition of Latvian Emigrants
URLCM yoU aRe weLCoMe
USU USUally (frequently just "usu.")
UTC Under The Counter; Coordinated Universal Time;
Temps Universel Coordonnie
UTT Under The Table

V
VBEG Very Big Evil Grin (as in )
VBG Very Big Grin (as in )
VBSEG Very Big S--- Eating Grin (as in )
VETLA Very Enhanced TLA
VH Virtual Hug
VPH Visible Panty Line
VR Virtual Reality
VT Virtual Time

W
W/ With (frequently just "w/")
W/O WithOut (frequently just "w/o")
W8 Wait
W8ING WaitING
WAB? What, Another Bill?
WADR With All Due Respect
WAEF When All Else Fails
WAFWOT What A F---ing Waste Of Time
WAG Wild-Assed Guess
WALOC What A Load of Crap
WAMKSAM Why Are My Kids (or Kitties) Staring At Me?
WB Welcome Back
WCAGA What Comes Around, Goes Around
WCTYBTWHTKY We Could Tell You, But Then We'd Have To Kill You
WDF What Da F---?
WDYMBT What Do (or Did) You Mean By That?
WEFT Wrong Every F---ing Time
WFHIT What Fresh Hell Is This? (from the writings of Dorothy Parker)
WFM Works For Me
WFO Wide Full (or F---ing) Open
WGAS Who Gives A S---
WIBAMU Well I'll Be A Monkey's Uncle
WIBNIF Wouldn't If Be Nice IF...
WIGAC When I Get A Chance
WIMP Windows, Icons, Mouse, Pointing
WIZOP Wizard Sysop (the primary forum administrator for a forum)
WMMOWS Wash My Mouth Out With Soap
WOA Work Of Art
WOFTAM Waste Of Flaming Time And Money
WOLF Witless One Line Followup
WOM Word Of Mouth
WOMBAT Waste Of Money, Brains, And Time
WOWF Witless One Word Followup
WRATGAS Who Really And Truly Gives A S---
WRT With Regard To; With Respect To
WSD Willing Suspension of Disbelief (e.g. when watching movies)
WTF What The F---
WTFDIC What The F--- Do I Care
WTFDIK What The F--- Do I Know
WTFDYTYA Who The F--- Do You Think You Are
WTFIIWT_A What The F--- Is It With These _____ Anyway?
WTFO What The F---, Over (Reply)
WTFWT "What the F--- Was That?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
WTG Way To Go
WTH What The Hell (or Heck)
WTMKF Welcome To My Kill Filter
WUGAC When yoU Get A Chance
WWS Wife Wants Sex (please wait a tic)
WWW World Wide Web; World Wide Waste; World Wide Waiting;
World Wild Web
WYBMADIITY Will You Buy Me A Double If I Tell You?
WYLABOCTGWTR Would You Like A Bowl Of Cream To Go With That Remark?
WYLASOMWTC Would You Like A Saucer Of Milk With That Comment?
WYGAC When You Get A Chance
WYGIWYG What You Got Is What You Get
WYGIWYPF What You Get Is What You Pay For
WYP What's Your Point?
WYSBANRTWYG What You See Bears Absolutely No Relation To What You Get
WYSINEWYGBIC What You See Is Not Exactly What You Get But It's Close
WYSBYGI What You See Before You Get It
WYSIWYG What You See Is What You Get
WYSOH Where's Your Sense Of Humor?
WYTYSYDG What You Thought You Saw, You Didn't Get

X
XYZ eXamine Your Zipper

Y
Y2K Year 2000 (2000 = 2K)
Y3 Yadda Yadda Yadda
Y6B whY 6 Billion? (ie, overpopulation is more dangerous than Y2K)
YABA Yet Another Bloody Acronym
YAC are You Available to Chat?
YADS Yet Another DOS Shell
YAFA Yet Another "Fine" Acronym
YAFIYGI You Asked For It, You Got It
YANETUT You Are Not Expected To Understand This
YAOTM Yet Another Off-Topic Message
YAP Yet Another Ploy
YBYSA You Bet Your Sweet Ass
YCDBSOYA You Can't Do Business Sitting On Your Ass!
YCDBWYCID You Can't Do Business When Your Computer Is Down!
YCLIU You Can Look It Up
YGTBK You've Got To Be Kidding
YGTBDSM You've Got To Be Dry-Shaving Me
YGTBSM You've Got To Be S----ing Me!
YHB_ You Have Been ______
YHBW You Have Been Warned
YHGASPL You Have Got A Serious Problem, Lad!
YHGMTPO_ You Have Greatly Misunderstood The Purpose Of ______
YHL You Have Lost
YHTBT You Had To Be There
YKIYEI You Killed It, You Eat It
YKWIM You Know What I Mean
YKYB You Know You've Been
YKYB_TLW You Know You've Been ______ing Too Long When . . .
YM You Mean
YMMV Your Mileage May Vary; literally, "your experience may differ".
YOYO You're On Your Own
YR Yeah Right
YSS You Suck Severely
YWHOL Yelling "WooHoo" Out Loud (as in LOL)
YWSYLS You Win Some, You Lose Some

Z
ZNT ZiffNeT

isang kanta para sa mga miyembro ng SMAP (samahan ng mga malalamig ang pasko). sana nawa eh gumanda ang mga lovelife nyo. ito'y rock and roll cover version ng "goodbye to love", isang popular na kanta ng carpenters.

sunset sa manila bay with
axl, ate lannie, jet, lucas, darlene

Email X-change between SouthAfricanAustralianChinese and SingaporeBasedPinoySiraUlo...

-----Original Message-----
From: Bat, Jay
Sent: 22 August, 2003 11:55 AM
To: Stormin, Norman
Subject: Your PC

Hey stormin Norman!

I just had a glimpse of your new PC. Not bad! I kinda loved the DVD so I swapped it with my old CD drive. Hope you don't mind.

BatJay

-----Original Message-----
From: Stormin Norman [mailto:norman.stormin@downunder.com]
Sent: Friday, August 22, 2003 10:08 AM
To: 'Bat, Jay'
Subject: RE: Your PC

Hi Matey,

In a strong German/South African accent “ You haf to be kidding me! You jaast cannot be zerious , ZIS is definetly not ze vay to behaf and treat a friend , NO I must say ZIS is totally unacceptable behaviour!” Just kidding matey , you can use it until the AP conference as long as I get it back then understand JA?

Regards,
Stormin'Norman

-----Original Message-----
From: Bat, Jay
Sent: Friday, August 22, 2003 10:15 AM
To: 'norman.stormin@downunder.com'
Subject: RE: Your PC

hehehe.... no, i vas jast pulling yur leg. jerry got it real cheap from dell. more than half price! only problem is that it does not have a space bar.

"bulaklak sa paanan naghihintay ng pansin
ano pa ang buhay niya kundi mo langhapin"

walang ibang sadya, joey ayala

bihirang dumalaw ang matalik na kaibigan sa singapore



kuha namin ni nes sa jurong bird park kanina. matagal na kaming magkaibigan ni nes. mahigit 32 years na. isa siya sa mga classmates ko since kinder. actually, siya ang pinaka-una kong naging kabarkada kasi pareho ang section namin simula kinder, hanggang grade 6. pagtapos batch mates kami hanggang nagtapos ng high school nung 1983. patuloy pa rin kaming nagkita-kita pagtapos ng graduation at hanggang ngayon, magkaibigan pa rin kami.

isa si nes sa mga hinahangaan kong tao. matalino, masipag at magaling mag basketball. bukod sa matataas na grades, pinuno rin niya ng extra curricular activities ang kanyang high school career: head ng sports commitee ng sudent's advisory board, varsity player, captain ng basketball team at athlete of the year ng batch namin.

si nes ay isang doctor. graduate ng UERM at espesyalista sa internal medicine. malimit siyang dumadalaw sa bahay namin para kamustahin ang mommy ko. nung minsan nagka pneumonia ang mommy ko. tinakbo ko siya sa hospital at si nes ang gumamot sa kanya. di ko pa rin makalimutan hanggan ngayon kung papaano niya inasikaso ang mommy ko. simula admission hanggang sa mga tests, hindi pinabayaan ni nes ang mommy ko. suwerte talaga ako sa mga kaibigan. kahit di kami masyadong mayaman, nagtutulungan kami sa kahit anong paraan.



si tess at jet sa harap ng waterfall ng bird park. si tess ay asawa ni ness. si jet ay asawa ko. naging magkaibigan din sila dahil sa amin. anak ni nes at tess si cheska. siyempre, inaanak ko si cheska. kumpare ko kasi si nes eh. hehehe. si jet ay dating nurse ngayon, isa nang masayang housewife. si tess ay isa ring doctor tulad ni nes. si cheska ay hindi pa nag-aaral kaya di ko alam kung gusto niya rin maging doctor. si tess ay isang capitan sa AFP at doctor siya sa V Luna (ang military hospital sa quezon city). dati siyang PSG nung presidente si erap kaya marami kaming tsismis tungkol sa pamilya ni joseph estrada. but that is another story.

si nes ay dati ring capitan sa AFP. umalis na siya sa serbisyo. sabi niya sa akin eh "nabuburat na raw siya sa buhay militar" kaya siya umalis. di ko siya masisisi. tingnan mo nga ang mga ulul na opisyal sa maynila - puro pampapoging coup na punong puno ng katangahan lang ang alam sa buhay.



narito sina tess at nes sa singapore kasama ang kanilang pinsan na si sheila at ang kanyang asawa. bagong kasal si sheila at parang honeymoon nila ang pagparito. kagabi ay nasa night safari kami. ngayon naman ay tumuloy kami sa bird park nung umaga, nag lunch sa orchard road at dumiretso sa sentosa sa hapon. gabi na kaming umuwi kanina, medyo pagod pero masaya. bihira lang dumalaw ang kaibigan dito sa singapore. mas lalong bihirang dumalaw ang matalik na kaibigan kung kaya't masaya namin silang sinamahan sa kanilang pamamasyal ngayong weekend.



ito si jet kanina sa orchard road. ganda niya ano? ngayon alam nyo na kung bakit ko siya kinakantahan.

ito ang dahilan kung bakit ako nagsusulat sa tagalog

kung sino man ang nagsulat nito, saludo ako sa pang-aalaska mo kaibigan...

Mahal kong Lt. SG Antonio Trillanes IV,

Magandang umaga. Nawa'y maigi ang iyong kalagayan d'yan sa stockade. Magpahinga ka muna bago ka humarap sa court martial. Hindi bale nang litisin ka, nakapag-stay sa naman sa Oakwood, samantalang kami, pinaasa mong walang pasok ngayon. KJ ka talaga.

Sinulat ko ang liham na ito para puriin ka sa iyong kagitingan na ipaalam sa buong sambayanang Pilipino ang kabulukang nangyayari sa ating gobyerno. Mabuhay ka. Ang problema nga lang, alam na namin lahat iyon, Kapitan Trillanes. Hindi na ninyo kailangan pang magtanim ng bomba at magpapogi sa inyong mga fatigues para lang ipaalam sa buong madla na may mga katiwalian sa gobyerno.

Hindi tuloy ako nakapanood ng Terminator 3, eh malapit nang mawala sa sine 'yon. Okay sana kung nagbakbakan kayo ng mga sundalo ng gobyerno.

Mala-THE ROCK saka DIE HARD sana ang nangyari. Kaso, nagsisisigaw lamang kayo sa lobby ng Oakwood. Para ano pa ang inyong mga armband? Sabagay pwede na kayong magtayo ng boutique na ang brand name ay Magdalo. Pwde kayong magtinda ng mga armbands, fatigue-inspired pants, caps at shades. Ipwesto nyo dyan sa Oakwood para strategic ang location at may sentimental value pa. Bebenta kayo, promise.

Sa launch ng inyong boutique, pwede kayong maglagay ng mga bomba sa parking lot tapos magpaparty kayo doon. Masaya di ba? Mabalik tayo sa layunin ng liham na ito. Yung sinasabi mong nagbebenta si Secretary Reyes ng bala sa mga rebelde, aba, lumang balita na 'yan. Alam na naming mga ordinaryong tao yan. Bakit? Kaugalian na nating mga Pilipino ang mag-sideline di ba? Sa opisina nga namin may nagtitinda ng tsinelas, beads, tocino, tapa, muffins saka bags.

Eh hayaan mo nang magbenta si Secretary Reyes ng bala sa kanila, baka gawang Taiwan lang naman yung mga bala na 'yon. Mahirap buhay eh, magkano lang naman sweldo ni Secretary Reyes. Malamang lumilihis yung mga bala o kaya puro supot.

Yun namang sinasabi mong si GMA ang nag-utos ng pambobomba sa Davao, alam na rin naming mga Pilipino 'yon. Kaw naman, Kapitan Trillanes, sa pagka-tsismoso nating mga Pilipino, sino ba naman hindi nakakaalam na gobyerno gumagawa ng mga kalokohang 'yon?

Plaza Miranda, Jabidah Massacre, pagpatay kay Ninoy, Rizal Day bombings, at kung anu-ano pang kababalaghan, alam na naming gobyerno gumagawa. Hindi naman kami istupido noh! Sabi nga ng mga taga-Assumption, "We're not like tanga naman..."

Ang drama-drama mo masyado, eh kami namang mga ordinaryong tao tinatawanan na lang mga katiwalian sa gobyerno. May linya ka pang "we're ready to die for our principles." Huuu...if I know, gusto mo lang magpa-spa sa Oakwood kasi sira na ang
iyong kutis dahil sa kagat ng lamok sa Basilan. Dapat sinabi mo na lang sa akin, may murang spa dyan sa Quezon Avenue, may "extra" pa.

Ayan tuloy, nagsara Glorietta ng isang isang araw. Lagot ka, milyon nalugi sa mga Ayala. Baka pabayaran lahat sa 'yo yan. At saka naman Kapitan Trillanes, next time kayo magta-take over ng anumang lugar, 'wag naman sa mall. Hindi bagay sa inyong mga fatigues and armbands. Sino ba scriptwriter ninyo? Tsugiin! Mali ang location ng action! Ni walang symbolic o strategic meaning ang Oakwood.

Hindi kayo nanood ng THE ROCK ano? Hay nako, may pasok tuloy ngayon. Nabitin kami. Pogi points ka pa sa mga girls kasi ang guapo mo sa fatigue. Yun nga lang, you didn't die for your principles. May paiyak-iyak and hug pa kayo. Kaya kayo tinatawanan ng Abu Sayyaf, malalambot ang puso ninyo, madrama kayo masyado. Ganyan ba kayo sa Basilan? 'Pag rat-ratan na, yayakapan na lang kayo at umiiyak? God, it's so nakakahiya naman to the enemy. Hay nako, Kapitan Trillanes, mag-direct ka na lang ng pelikula ha? Tingin ko mas magaling ka pa kay Ang Lee kasi militar ka talaga. Maganda yung mga subplots na naisip mo. Maganda rin yung mga dialogue mo.

'Pag nag-direct ka na ng movie, make sure may bakbakang matindi sa huli. Yung tipong mawawarak yung buong building. Yun, mas exciting, hindi yung katulad kahapon.


Nagmamahal,
Ang iyong tagahanga

nag coup ang mga bobo at nilugmok ang mga pinoy sa shit

well, i can confirm that some blog sites are blocked in china, particularly, blogspot. pero iyong interactive-X naman ay hindi blocked. may topak rin ang gobyerno rito. di ba nila alam, pag pinipigil, lalong nang gigigil. di rin naman effective ang blocking dahil, pwede siguro i-bypass ito by hosting your site outside of blogger.com, or better yet, find another blog provider.

isa pang may topak eh yung mga nag coup sa maynila. para sa mga sundalong nag-coup: "ang TATANGA ninyo!. Bwakananginangyan, gagawa lang ng gulo, walang kaplano plano. dapat sa inyo eh, tanggalan ng baril at hamunin ng suntukan eh. o ano, laban kayo pag walang baril? ha? ha? bobo!

may suspetsa ako na may mastermind ding tanga na nagplano rito eh. what's the objective of this silly coup? to sink the philippines deeper into shit!. no plans, no support, no reason. well, there are reasons but the manner to voice their concerns was waaay off tangent. stupid! stupid! stupid! dapat eh bigyan sila ng lecture sa armed struggle.

ang puso ko, ang puso ko. hehehe. sige mylab, kain muna kaming lunch. just arrived in beijing. talk to you tonight.

paborito kong epitaph

here lies ang atheist
all dressed up
but nowhere to go

SARS OFFICE TEMPERATURE TRACKING SYSTEM

Note: The new Singapore Office Regulation says all employees are now required to check body temperature twice a day. If my body temperature rises above 38 Deg. C, you know where to find me...

MY BODY TEMPERATURE:

Fri, 25 Apr. AM: 36.2 Deg C, PM: 36.2 Deg C
Mon, 28 Apr. AM: 36.7 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Tue, 29 Apr. AM: 36.7 Deg C, PM: 36.7 Deg C
Wed, 30 Apr. AM: 36.7 Deg C, PM: 36.0 Deg C
Thu, 01 May LABOR DAY!!! HIPHIP,YEHEY!
Fri, 02 May AM: 36.7 Deg C, PM: 36.4 Deg C
Mon, 05 May AM: 36.6 Deg C, PM: inameeting&forgot
Tue, 06 May AM: 36.8 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Wed, 07 May AM: 36.7 Deg C, PM: 36.8 Deg C
Thu, 08 May AM: 36.5 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Fri, 09 May AM: 36.8 Deg C, PM: 36.8 Deg C
Mon, 12 May AM: 36.7 Deg C, PM: 36.7 Deg C
Tue, 13 May AM: 36.8 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Wed, 14 May AM: 36.8 Deg C, PM: 36.2 Deg C
Thu, 15 May AM: vesak day - no work with pay!
Fri, 16 May AM: 36.7 Deg C, PM: 36.8 Deg C
Mon, 19 May AM: 36.6 Deg C, PM: 36.7 Deg C
Tue, 20 May AM: 36.3 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Wed, 21 May : nasa Seoul, nagpapalamig
Thu, 22 May : nasa Seoul, nagpapalamig
Fri, 23 May : nasa Seoul, nagpapalamig
Mon, 26 May AM: 36.6 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Tue, 27 May AM: 36.5 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Wed, 28 May AM: 36.5 Deg C, PM: 36.5 Deg C
Thu, 29 May AM: 36.8 Deg C, PM: 36.5 Deg C
Fri, 30 May AM: 36.7 Deg C, PM: 36.7 Deg C
Mon, 02 June to Mon, 09 June: nasa pilipinas nagtatrabaho
Tue, 10 June AM: 36.7 Deg C, PM: 36.7 Deg C
Wed, 11 June AM: 36.6 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Thu, 12 June AM: 36.6 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Fri, 13 June AM: 36.6 Deg C, PM: 36.6 Deg C
Mon, 16 June AM: 36.9 Deg C, PM: 36.9 Deg C
Tue, 17 June AM: 36.8 Deg C, PM: 36.8 Deg C
Thu, 20 June AM: 36.8 Deg C, PM: 36.8 Deg C
Mon, 23 June AM: 36.8 Deg C, PM: 36.8 Deg C

have i told you lately, van morrison
we've got tonight, bob seger
big yellow taxi, joni mitchell
bette davis eyes, kim carnes
proud mary, ccr
dreams, fleetwood mac

covered songs whose original versions must be part of your playlist. in fact, you can throw away the cover versions. hehehe...

Habang nag-se-search ng mga artist na kasali sa "PHILIPPINE HITS - AROUND THE WORLD KARAOKE", napadaan ako sa binebentang CD sa Pinoy Central na pinamagatang "Kukurutin Ko" ni Bert Dominic.

Sino si Bert Dominic? Naiintriga ako sa kanya. Bakit ganito ang title ng mga kanta niya?

Kukurutin Ko
Titina
Kay Tsong, Kay Tsang
Johnny's Bird
Tutubing Karayom
Nawawalang Bikini
Hapi Na Si Manoy
Ang Seksi Mo Darling
Ang Siyota Kong Putol
Mag-ingat Kay Ate Aida
Awit Kay Mahal
Ang Nobya Kong Pinay
Okey Lang
Kayakap Ko Ay Unan
Girl, Naaalala Kita
Ibig Kong Bumalik Sa Maynila
Miss Na Miss Kita
Di Kita Malilimutan

sino si bert dominic? tutuo ba siyang tao, o kathang isip ng isang corning-bastos na tulad ko?

Ang Balita ay Handog sa Inyo ng Joy, ang Tissueng Punet!

Host: Missis, why do you use Joy Tissue?
Missis: Simply and honestly, it's because it's absorb more pawis!
(Ay, it's absorb!)

-galing sa boob tube booboos ni nestor torre

Mga Kababayan, magsitago na kayo.... andyan nang mga Hapon!!!

Singapore SARS Update:

TREATED AND DISCHARGED: 104 (up 13 from 5 days ago)
IN HOSPITAL: 58 (down 3)
IN CRITICAL CONDITION: 19 (up 3)
DEAD: 14+2 (up 1)
TOTAL NUMBER OF CASES: 178 (up 11 new cases)
INDEX CASES: 7 (no change, ibig sabihin wala nang galing sa abroad na nakakahawa sa local population)
SUSPECT CASES: 87 91 (down 4)
UNDER HOME QUARANTINE: 599 (last available info from 5 days ago)

MGA KASALUKUYANG BINABASANG COMICS...


1. Y: The Last Man: Unmanned
In the summer of 2002, a plague of unknown origin destroyed every last sperm, fetus, and fully developed mammal with a Y chromosome - with the apparent exception of one young man and his male pet. This "gendercide" instantaneously exterminated 48% of the global population, or approximately 2.9 billion men.


2. Lucifer Morningstar, The Divine Comedy

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste...Lucifer Morningstar, the fallen angel of light, the former Lord of Hell, and the owner of a fashionable Los Angeles based piano bar called Lux. On his ongoing quest to escape predestination, Lucifer is accompanied by his faithful servant and lover, the beautiful female demon Mazikeen, one of the daughters of Lilith.



3. Sandman Presents: The Furies

In the three years since Daniel left to fulfill his destiny as the new Sandman, Lyta has suffered greatly from the loss of her only son. Now the bloodline that has made her kin to the Furies has taken over her senses' and her sanity. In an effort to escape her pain and unravel her mysterious heritage before it consumes her, Lyta accepts a job with a traveling theatre troupe on its way to Athens, Greece. But a series of cruel and familiar mythological figures set their sites on destroying the Furies and plan to use Lyta Hall as the ultimate pawn.


4. Batman: Arkham Asylum

The story is about Batman and his sanity, or possible lack of such. For the most part, it takes place in Gotham City’s Arkham Asylum, where all the really crazy arch-villains are kept. The criminally insane have taken over the asylum and The Joker is demanding that Batman come inside with them where he belongs. Most of the story deals with this confrontation, interwoven with the gruesome history of the place. At the time of the story some of the inhabitants include The Joker, The Scarecrow, Mr. Destiny, and Two-Face.

mga pinagbabasa ko ngayon:

the last vampire
the excorcist

que horror, puro horror.

Think About It

Death is hereditary.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.
(attributed to George W Bush Jr.)

You never know what real happiness is until you get married, and then it is too late.

Marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.

try try must die!

BUMPER STICKER BLUES

BEAUTY is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots... and I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice):
We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Hang up and drive.

God must love stupid people...He made SO many.

Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.

Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.

If you can read this I can hit my brakes and sue you

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them

Bwakanginangyan, ang laki ng Bagyong paparating sa Pilipinas!!!

Examples of SingLish: A short conversation between CK, a boy of nearly 6, and his next door neighbour, whom he calls 'Uncle'.

[N is at the door of the CK's' house]
CK: Uncle! Uncle get me my ball, I got big one for you.
N: Why?
CK: Inside the house.
N: Where's that big bicycle?
SK: Gone. [SK is CK's mother]
CK: Big bicycle taken away.
N: Taken away already.
CK: No. Because going Toa Payoh.
N: Going Toa Payoh. Oh oh. Then bicycle go first ah. OK you go with them.
CK: Don't mind hah. Know where also.
N: Ah.
CK: There my gra- my grandmoth- my my- My uncle also went.
N: Next time you grow up you take over the big one.
CK: Yeah. [N laughs]
CK: Then my mo- brother take over my one. [CK & N laugh] Yeah ah.
N: As soon as he take yours ah,you take your father's one. [N laughs]

naintindihan nyo ba?

an iraqi account of war in his country...Where is Raed ?

Seinfeldisms

1. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

2. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

3. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

4. Why is the word abbreviation so long?

5. Is it possible to be totally partial?

6. What's another word for thesaurus?

7. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

8. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

9. When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

10. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

11. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

12. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

15. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

16. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

17. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

18. Do hurry crows have ravenous appetites?

19. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

20. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

21. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

22. Instead of talking to you plants, if you yelled at them, would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?

23. Is there another word for synonym?

24. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

25. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

26. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

27. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

28. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? (ewwww!!)

29. Why do they report power outages on TV?

eto pa...

The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone
I can see it in your eyes
I can hear it in your sighs
Feel your touch and realize
The thrill is gone

AFI's 100 Years...100 Movies

1. CITIZEN KANE (1941)
2. CASABLANCA (1942)
3. THE GODFATHER (1972)
4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)
7. THE GRADUATE (1967)
8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)
9. SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993)
10. SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)
11. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)
13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957)
14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)
15. STAR WARS (1977)
16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)
17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)
18. PSYCHO (1960)
19. CHINATOWN (1974)
20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975)
21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)
22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)
23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)
24. RAGING BULL (1980)
25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982)
26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964)
27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967)
28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)
29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939)
30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948)
31. ANNIE HALL (1977)
32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974)
33. HIGH NOON (1952)
34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962)
35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)
36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969)
37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)
38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)
39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965)
40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)
41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)
42. REAR WINDOW (1954)
43. KING KONG (1933)
44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915)
45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)
46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)
47. TAXI DRIVER (1976)
48. JAWS (1975)
49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)
50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969)
51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)
52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953)
53. AMADEUS (1984)
54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)
55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)
56. M*A*S*H (1970)
57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)
58. FANTASIA (1940)
59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955)
60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)
61. VERTIGO (1958)
62. TOOTSIE (1982)
63. STAGECOACH (1939)
64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)
65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)
66. NETWORK (1976)
67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962)
68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951)
69. SHANE (1953)
70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971)
71. FORREST GUMP (1994)
72. BEN-HUR (1959)
73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)
74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)
75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)
76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)
77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)
78. ROCKY (1976)
79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)
80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)
81. MODERN TIMES (1936)
82. GIANT (1956)
83. PLATOON (1986)
84. FARGO (1996)
85. DUCK SOUP (1933)
86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)
87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
88. EASY RIDER (1969)
89. PATTON (1970)
90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)
91. MY FAIR LADY (1964)
92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)
93. THE APARTMENT (1960)
94. GOODFELLAS (1990)
95. PULP FICTION (1994)
96. THE SEARCHERS (1956)
97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)
98. UNFORGIVEN (1992)
99. GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER (1967)
100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942